14:51, Thu 6 Dec
Agreed you have to put more effort in, but if she liked him like he clearly likes her then it doesn't actually matter which way he approaches her because she'll react positively to it anyway.

If she doesn't like him then he'll be in her group chat with the girls 'OMG LOL this weirdo from work sent me a Christmas card what a creep'
14:51, Thu 6 Dec
montypenguin
write it in your own handwriting!

What a quaint old-fashioned notion...
16:22, Thu 6 Dec
I do agree with you and thought long and hard before saying that. My reasoning was that if I had contact from anyone asking me out (either in real life or online) then I would check them out online, see what I could find out. If this girl is savvy then she'll do the same, whether she likes him or not, whether she wants to meet up with him or not. Which I know isn't what internet dating is about - certainly not the initial contact. But it is the second step.

In fact, thinking about it further - he could PM the girl and ask her if she would mind if he friend requested her on facebook, as they got on so well. That way, he doesn't have to ask her out, and he gets a steer from her answer. And it's permission to look at her profile. Job jobbed!


Spike
Mrs P
As it's a bit vague, I think it's entirely acceptable to do a bit of digging online, see what you can find out in terms of relationship status etc. Then if she seems to be single, send her a very simple but friendly private message. There's not much difference between doing that and internet dating, and there's nothing wrong with that at all.

I disagree with that a bit to be honest...not that there is nothing wrong with internet dating, because there isn't.

But I don't think this is the same.

People who are registered on internet dating sites are looking to meet someone for some kind of relationship, people who are minding their own business and have merely had a friendly conversation with a work colleague are not necessarily.

Like I said before, the OP could do a load of online stalking and pry into the girl's life before sending her an unsolicited message...and she might take that as being appealing and showing that he is really interested and has gone to a lot of trouble to contact her. Or...she might think it's very inappropriate, very awkward and not appreciate it at all.

I have friendly conversations with people at work - sometimes even women...but I don't follow it up by stalking them and then sending them a message asking them if they fancy a drink sometime.

Although having said that - I did once get friendly with a woman at work, end up asking her out for a drink, and here I am still married to her. But that was after a period of having a number of conversations, finding out we got on, establishing that she was single and having formed a fair idea that she liked me. It wasn't based on a chat one lunchtime followed by internet stalking...and a "your hair smells lovely..." message.

Again - as I said before, I wish the lad well and wouldn't discourage him from asking her out, but I wouldn't suggest him doing it the way some people are suggesting he should.
16:36, Thu 6 Dec
Seriously, if she resorted to that she'd prove herself to be an immature asshole with an attitude problem. Bullet dodged...
Well, firstly I’d like to thank you all for the very detailed and some, very worrying responses.

I’ve decided to take the Facebook route, just seems to be the done thing of my kind of generation I guess. It can only go one of two ways, and I’m fully prepared for any embarrassment and piss taking should I get rejected and everyone finds out.

Only question I have, is how long should I leave it before sending the message? Is it something I need to do right this minute, or do I leave it a few more days?
Now, you soppy fecker.
How many good looking women have you seeen dating ugly blokes? Or tall women with short arses? Women like confidence and attention, pay them attention actively listen , make this girl the dentre of yourworld and you can win her heart.
22:17, Thu 6 Dec
Do the Facebook thing soon.
07:38, Fri 7 Dec
Spike
montypenguin
write it in your own handwriting!

What a quaint old-fashioned notion...

Not in green ink though
Garry Monk’s Comb Over
Well, firstly I’d like to thank you all for the very detailed and some, very worrying responses.

I’ve decided to take the Facebook route, just seems to be the done thing of my kind of generation I guess. It can only go one of two ways, and I’m fully prepared for any embarrassment and piss taking should I get rejected and everyone finds out.

Only question I have, is how long should I leave it before sending the message? Is it something I need to do right this minute, or do I leave it a few more days?

Depending on her settings, she may never see your message
Please keep us updated on progress, pictures would be nice too of the lady in question.

Thanks.
07:49, Fri 7 Dec
Feck pictures. He needs to periscope it for us after all this free advice
Sonic Youth fan. MBV. If you like feedback that much get a job at the council.
Don't delay if that's the way you want to go. It will only look weird if you leave it days or weeks. If she was keen (and sending you signals on the day) she could also be getting frustrated/concerned that she has not heard from you and think you are not interested.

Just ask her nicely - as you say its no biggie if she blows you out. However she might say yes (happy days!!) but if you don't ask you'll never know.
08:07, Fri 7 Dec
Literally just ask her to do something with you, theres no secret, coded way of doing it. Its that simple. The way you ask wont change her answer, shell either want to or wont.

Best of luck.
16:26, Wed 12 Dec
Any update Garry?